Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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