This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
