he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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