How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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