Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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