Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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