he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
where are my eyebrows?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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