I am spending my child support on dildos
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize