Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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