I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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