I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
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See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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