come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
