It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
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I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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