haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
