Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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