I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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