Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
