she was so not down for the gang bang
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
