At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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