she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize