i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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