It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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