She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Every concussion has its silver lining
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize