Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
