NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
