in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
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I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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