she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
