In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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