Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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