She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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