forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
