I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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