come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
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I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
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speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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