her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
