Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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