i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
