CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
