My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize