I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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