my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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