i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
