I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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