bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
