He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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