Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
