Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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