Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize