"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"