Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
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Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.