Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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  (850): Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now. (1-850): Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel. http://tfl.nu/j1ot
  Replies (80) Good night (3910) Bad night (573)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?

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  (609): so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/3dvn
  Replies (18) Good night (2942) Bad night (504)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.

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  (517): Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite. http://tfl.nu/8on0
  Replies (7) Good night (841) Bad night (2570) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight

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  (925): remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight http://tfl.nu/zwys
  Replies (18) Good night (715) Bad night (3603) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.

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  (954): Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency. http://tfl.nu/gvbc
  Replies (7) Good night (5641) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable

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  (773): she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable http://tfl.nu/h8f0
  Replies (17) Good night (6230) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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  (303): you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you http://tfl.nu/wspo
  Replies (15) Good night (5276) Bad night (963)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.

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  (709): I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea. http://tfl.nu/at1w
  Replies (16) Good night (1030) Bad night (2695) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?

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  (801): Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch? http://tfl.nu/p8up
  Replies (12) Good night (4987) Bad night (1249) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on

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  (903): I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on http://tfl.nu/lvsd
  Replies (7) Good night (2666) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"

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  (202): we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious" http://tfl.nu/kvms
  Replies (4) Good night (2966) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?

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  (781): At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot? http://tfl.nu/hn75
  Replies (7) Good night (2283) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection

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  (516): perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection http://tfl.nu/w4cf
  Replies (8) Good night (497) Bad night (1660) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties

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  (519): I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there (905): Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties http://tfl.nu/lxma
  Replies (4) Good night (1252) Bad night (844)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops

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  (519): I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops http://tfl.nu/3fz9
  Replies (2) Good night (414) Bad night (113) Order T-Shirt

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