I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"