Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.