whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself