i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
