In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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