Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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