In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my poor anus
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
