...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
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We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
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damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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