you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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