that's an acceptable place to lick
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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