you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
4 words: hood of his car
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
