its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
