I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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