yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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